Mother Lover May I
Well kids, there’s a lot for me to catch up on. Bin Laden’s dead. Michelle Bachman is still nuts, and the rest of the 2012 GOP field looks ridiculous (not a surprise). Oil prices have risen and are now falling, but not far enough to hurt profits as 3 of the top 4 Fortune 500s are big oil per Forbes’ latest listing. The Arab Spring continues – and Libya and Syria both aren’t looking too happy as vacation spots. The South still refers to the Civil War as the War of Northern Aggression. And summer is mostly upon us. Mostly.
Maybe it’s me, but the name ‘SEAL Team 6’ keeps getting better every time I hear it. I’m also fairly sure Michael Biehn was involved, at least in an advisory capacity. A lot of people are trying to share credit across the political divisions on Bin Laden’s double tap TO THE FACE, but history remembers winners, and this not only a) happened on Obama’s watch, but b) he made the direct call deciding to not wait and chose the SEAL option versus other gambits. If this wasn’t successful the GOP would be laying it on thick. But because it worked to the T, they’re busy trying to take credit and give it to George W. Whatever. Obama is getting the requisite bump in the polls, of course, but there are still other problems aplenty. The US will max out its debt ceiling in August (and the GOP is pushing for default, because, you know, that’s smart), unemployment is still dramatically high, the US worker is being productive – i.e., being indentured servants with one person doing three jobs - while wages remain flat, yet corporate profits are at record levels. Plus, interest rates remain abnormally low – as does small-business lending by banks, which hurts since that’s where jobs are created – while food prices are rising. The housing market is still in the shitter. Add that to the fact that the Health Care overhaul is still iffy a year later, and Obama is still caving on stupid things. Why did he show his birth certificate? You can’t placate loonies – besides, according to these same people, Bin Laden is alive and is scheduled for an MMA bout with Elvis on PPV.
Mike Huckabee dropped out of the 2012 race, as did Donald Trump, likely because he wasn’t allowed to have his hair run as VP (stop me if you’ve heard that one – too late!). Sarah Palin has dropped hints about another run while somehow managing to drop a few more IQ points, while Tim Pawlenty – wait, who? Exactly. News flash - Newt Gingrich is still a tool with more skeletons than Bill Clinton. Ironic, huh?
Three cheers for New Jersey high school sophomore Amy Meyers for challenging Michelle Bachman to a political spelling bee. Who says all that comes out of Jersey is people escaping Newark and Snookie? Of course it could be a much faster test should Bachman accept an easier challenge – just ask her if she can blink during an interview and prove she’s human, and when she can’t do this, ask for her birth certificate. Then see how many GOP’ers start clamoring anew in asking to change election laws to allow those born outside the US to run for President, just as they wanted to do for Arnold a couple years back. Remember that? At least Glenn Beck got canned from FOX – they wrote his dismissal with pink chalk on his chalk board.
Locally, Wal-Mart is reviewing Colorado Springs as a possible site for a $100M Data Center. That’d be a nice uptick in the local economy – and maybe would create enough tax revenue to turn the street lights back on. Or at least build the USOC another empty office space. But why knock it; 50-100 data center roles – systems administrators, tape-media librarians, and database plus SAN/NAS administrators- would be a great addition to a town which needs white collar jobs and has high-level talent. At the same time, Jake Jabs is building another Furniture Warehouse on the east side of town for those people who can’t drive across town to the other one. I know, it will be a distribution/shipping center, too, not just a showroom. Hey, more jobs, albeit low-level as American Furniture doesn’t pay much – but do we really need that much more cheap furniture? I must have missed that memo on the increasing demand for it. Jake Jabs must be doing something right.
Also in Colorado Springs – the calendar forgot to tell the weather that it’s now summer. In over 25 years here I never remember it being this cold in early May. Sure, we’ve had the freak foot of snow before in May, but that’s a rarity and always melted off 3 days later. These cold snaps are ridiculous. Plus, the lovely Front Range spring winds were also supposed to go away. Why couldn’t we have this weather in winter, when my front and back yards still had a chance to survive?
And now…Sports!
The NFL sucks. The Broncos drafted well in grabbing Von Miller with the #2 pick, but they reached on RT Orlando Franklin and could’ve added a DT in the 2nd round, grabbing Franklin later, while drafting two TEs instead of an RB (although both Thomas and Green look like they have high upsides, and getting Green that late could be a steal). But it matters not – since football is possibly dead this year. Yet we should still save faith – for the TEBOW will lead us not into temptation but into the end zone, so help us Touchdown Jesus, amen. Haven’t you heard? The TEBOW ended the lockout with his mind and celestial might by turning one dollar into many dollars for the NFL owners – for such is his kingdom, his power, his glory, forever and ever…Whatever. Broncos 2nd year wide-out and last year’s other 1st round pick, WR Demariyus Thomas just reinjured himself reading this sentence. When asked for comment, CB Perrish Cox’s attorneys said he ‘did not recall’ reading this sentence.
The NBA sucks. The officiating in the Nuggets-Thunder 1st round was horrifically in favor of the Thunder – mostly because David Stern knows Kevin Durant has wider appeal to the masses than Ty Lawson. That, and George Karl just cannot coach in the playoffs. Oh well – at the Nuggets have a talented, young, fundamentally solid set of actual 2-way players to build on. At least they won a game in the first round – which was better than the Knicks. HA! EAT IT ‘MELO! Go Bulls – beat the Heat. I want to watch LeBron cry little wussy tears of intellectually challenged frustration followed by some maturity-free finger pointing –oh, the sweet, sweet tears of an egomaniac. And if the Heat does manage to win it all, it only proves there is a hell.
The Rockies had an excellent April, and so far have had a crap May. Let’s hope they do better, as usually it’s a crap April and a .500 May. Helton is belting, but such is his odd-year prowess. Tulo looks like he’s back in the groove after a recent hiatus, but CarGo is slumping. Ubaldo Jimenez doesn’t need location – he needs a psychologist as he’s psyched himself out. While Chris Iannetta has improved, he still needs to show he can draw walks while hitting above .230. Ian Stewart will soon join Garrett Atkins on the list of recent, once-promising third baseman castoffs whose time ran out. And maybe we can finally cut bait with Franklin Morales who is up and down, and Paulino, and admit that there’s a reason one of the worst teams, the Astros, so eagerly parted ways with him for Clint Barmes. Bring back Matt “Every” Daley and call up hotshot young lefty Rex Brothers.
And on a personal note…I’ve been catching up on Harry Potter movies so I can finally watch the ‘Deathly Hallows, Part I.’ My TV habits have been odd and frenetic. I watch FX’s ‘Justified’ hoping it will magically turn into HBO’s ‘Deadwood,’ which was one of my favorite all time shows. I’m impressed by FX shows – although I only got about 80% through ‘the Shield’ and still need to finish that. I’ve never watched ‘Rescue Me’ but have heard great things considering its Denis Leary-driven, and need to watch ‘Louie,’ and I think I’d like ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.’ Plus, while I’m good to go on ‘Weeds’-LEGENDARY!!!- I’m way behind on Showtime’s ‘Dexter’ (by a season and a half), and admittedly gave up on both ‘Californication’ (don’t know why- lots of hotties) and ‘the Tutors’ (because it’s crap and historically a joke – despite the hotties). At least I’m all set on HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones’ and ‘Treme,’ although ‘Treme’ somehow managed to make itself even more painful to watch. I plan on going with some friends to New Orleans later this year, though – hope it’ll a fun hedonistic little trip and not just a depressing reminder of what a great city was.
In the present, I’m looking forward to some much needed R&R up in the hills for a long weekend, which will be followed by a quick Gonzo-jaunt to Vegas and yet another trip back to the mountains later this summer. I actually still have my Gonzo-notes from driving the Pacific Coast Highway last year from San Diego to Seattle, but have yet to formulate them into any order. We found some rather swank hideouts along the way. We didn’t find enlightenment, but did find a 50’ tall Paul Bunyan and a lot of tans. And I rekindled my short love affair with In-And-Out Burger.
Such is the life of Operative X. Agent X had done his time, and done it well. He didn’t do it his way, not like the chairman, but that comes with experience. I figured after a few years in the dry heat, watching the masses eat up talking points like disco biscuits and staying Euro-beat fresh on the latest periphery vision things, it was time for a promotion. So after many intense times in this whacked out world, it was time to move on up to faster new wave blogging, a smart phone and a new batch of sensory overload…Because the life of Operative X is always intense.
I’m going to go watch Repo Man for the 100th time – it should stew well with my other odd and frenetic TV habits. Intense.